I’ve messed up big. There’s no coming back from this time. It’s over. I have to kill myself.
Your mistakes make you who you are. You chose what was best in the situation. There’s no going back now. Things work themselves out in some way, shape, or form. If they don’t you’re dead and it doesn’t matter anyway. I just hate how most people view everything and especially mistakes people have made in their lives. The mainstream view seems to be you can come back from being a druggie or prostitute but not a racist or generally antisocial. I think that if you act like what you did was a big deal others will think so too. There’s tons of other factors that go into like personality and such. No matter who you are I believe that if you let whatever you did take up your mind it will show itself to others.
I’m a screw up but I don’t really view something that I do as a misstep unless I think it was or someone I respect tells me it was. I am a man and have worked hard to think and make better decisions than most the population. They do what their authority figures tell them to do and if smth goes wrong it’s the figure’s fault. I do what I think is best and if smth goes wrong I’ll fix it. I can admit to myself I did smth wrong if it helps me make better decisions in the future. Failures are good as they lead to success.
“Hey kid, everybody’s prone to some mistakes
If you’d always kept it straight, you’d never learn
You’d run the risk of all the risks you take
Don’t feel like all the time you put in went to waste
The way your heart was beating all those days
And suddenly it beats another pace”
– One Another, Mac Demarco